very happy today! no need go appreciate teach.
somemore my deardear never go wushu..accompany me for lunch and slack slack..

anw thanks frens i ok le..everything back to normal le..
actually this period of time has made me realised that i care for my dear more than wad i think..

i've oso understand that i've been too demanding at times..

sarang heyo my dear! :)

my eyes are like a spoilt water tap tat keeps gushing down water..
dono why oso..

problem resolved already..but still..

its hard to break off once ur in a long relationship..
cos its like ur partner has become part of ur family..
the bond just cant be ended like that..
it feels really hurtful when u feel him disappear out of ur life..
mayb i'm too extreme again?

i tink this is a good experience..
it makes me realised that i am more emotionally attached to u then i tot so..
i'm not gonna say anything abt how i think ur feelings towards me actually are..

i've been to dependant on u..
as i've said..
i wouldn't expect anything from u from now on..
after such painful experience..
i wont demand anything..
i'll take anything u did for me as an additional surprise add on..

yes..the hurt will always be there..as i had said..
u've let me experienced the very worst moments i had ever encounter in my life..

U noe wad is the saddest thing that can ever happen to someone?

That is when ur heart has really died.

caring so much for someone, but he doesn't care at all..

even worried that his disappearance is not intentional,
but something may have happened to him.

and then,
realised how foolish im..
should have known that he's alright all the while..


should buck up.
pick myself up.
resume all my usual activities.

stop escaping from lessons saying im sick..
though i really am, emotionally..

might call up appreciate today to cancel lesson.

always rmb this..
time heals all wounds..

the past is the past..
no point hanging on..
it has all been a mere illusion..

i'm really really sleepy and tired!
but i just couldn't get to sleep..
now..
if only there's a on off switch for my brain..
i need to turn it off now!

stop thinking already!
i need to rest!
arrgh..

last time i was always thinking..
if one day i'm in hospital, dying and i wan see him for the last time..
will he come..

now im thinking if u'll come instead..
its like u have suddenly disappeared..

alrights guys this is actually nothing..
no need to get worried abt me..

im just being too extreme as usual..

like always..

im pretty fine :D

read e'd de blog..

wa he so fast call the gal darling and dear liao ar..

somemore say won't make the gal cry for him again..
wad a good bf to be..

so touching..

all the best :D

o gosh,
i can't sleep now..
how can anyone be so cruel to me?

wad should i do now in the middle of the night?

think i better go buy sleeping pills tmr..
to aid me in sleeping..

had a childhood wish..
that is..
to stand on a bridge in the sunset at the beach, and give a good shout..
to shout out all the troubles i had..
to feel instantly better..

sometimes i dono wad kind of a person i'm..
i dono wad i want..

sometimes its just better to stop pondering so much and just do the things i used to do..

tink im having health problems..
constant feeling of bloatedness in my tummy..
no appetite..
stomach-ache..
headache..
it has been going on for quite awhile..

went to Khatib mac ystd after work with deardear!!

we look so blissful in this pic right? awww..
and its the first photo that my dear actually smiled!!

p.s. he normally don smile cos he scared to show his 'shiny teeth'..

me wearing dear's specs!!

does it looks nice?

and dear wearing my specs!!

haha..

more photos..

Went to elijah's prize prsentation at dover ITE today..

haha..as all prize presentations are, the starting was boring..
with a lot of talks..

its the first time i went to ITE today, and i can say,
its really very different from with i imagined..

the facilities are all tons better than yjc la..
there are even lifts in the ITE, and it all looks very newly renovated..

and i didnt noe that there are so many CCAs, just like polys..
Dance, wushu, etc..

quite impressed.. ^^

and the refreshments were real good!!

There were 2 tables of the exact same refreshments,
foods like fried rice, noodles, chicken wings, fish and sushi..
with 2 servings on each table..

so there were more than enough for everyone..

plus once a kind of food was finished,
the catering ppl will served up another kind to replace it..
so thoughtful la..

haha..


anw..
today my private student mum called me to ask me a qn..

student's mum: "er..sorry ar..erm..wan to ask u something..hope u don feel offended ar.. are u a smoker?"
me:"huh?! nono..of cos not..i don smoke.."
student's mum: "o erm..because last week when u came there was a smoke smell.."

Lol..
i felt so offended la!
its not cos she thinks i smoke,
but its cos she thinks i smell 'smoky'..
very awkward u noe..
the next time i go her house, i'll keep worrying if i had smoky smell..


btw..i felt uneasy nowadays..
but u cant tell huh?

i dono..
i feel strange..
a bit isolated from the world..

but still..
u are oblivious to it..

went to cristofori for make up lesson today for 1 student..

on my way to the bus stop to take bus to cristofori, so coincidental..
my student was waiting for the bus there..

she was very happy to see me, and even called her mum to tell her that we are taking the bus together to cristofori..

haha..

well, after the lesson, i went to appreciate..

my two new students(sisters) learning from me recently are quite good..
they followed the dynamics of the pieces as i told them to, and it sounded pretty well..

they had the same haircut and they wore quite the same outfit today,
so after the elder sister had finished her lesson, i wait for the younger sister to come in..
i had a shocked when i saw her come into the room,
cos i tot she was her elder sis,
so i wondered why did she come in again..
haha..

give replacement lesson to another student(in appreciate too after the sisters)..
that student usually makes me very pissed off cos his exam is coming and he can't be bothered to play through his pieces properly at all..

so i told him i hope that by july he can polished up all his pieces and scales since i won't be teaching him anymore after july..

he was very shocked and ask y..

told him i'll be going NAFA for the diploma in music course and hence will have no time to teach all my sunday pupils..(yes he's my sunday student)
and that there will be a new teacher teaching him after that..

he became very obedient after that..
today is the first time he has played through his pieces with dynamics,
and finished memorising his scales..

felt relieved..
hope he can continue on with this all the way to the end..


anw..i'll still be teaching in cristofori,
sat: 9am - 5.30pm
sun: 9am - 3.30pm

but i won't be teaching in appreciate on sat and sun anymore,
cos its too tiring to run both places..

will still be teaching in appreciate on thurs though..
cos i don wish to get separated from the school..

my students‭ passed their theory exam!
one got merit, the other just passed..
already not bad le..initially thought they would fail, and their mum would come after me..lol..

tmr's daddy birthday!
happy birthday dad!
such a coincidence, its oso my aunt and dear's sister's birthday!
happy birthday!

anw deardear's meeting our secondary school ex classmates soon,before his enlistment..
but he don wan me tag along!
sadsad..
they are my classmates too ma, even though i dono them very well..
but i wan go!
its gathering ma..
u don wish to let them see us together? even though they already noe that?
u shy?
or u don wish see how they look at us?

went‭ bukit panjang to play badminton with elijah, his bro, shi chao and cousin ystd..
at the community centre..

its my first time taking the lrt! haha..
it looks so cute!
mini version of mrt..
actually i feel it looks quite similar to the changi airport skytrain..
but the lrt is quite dirty..litters here and there..
mrt is still better..
anw..its quite alot of stations to reach our destination..

hmm i should say the court in that community centre is much better than my house here de..
cos there's ventilation..

booked the court from 3pm to 6pm..
3hours!
haha..but not very tiring‭ for me la..
cos i mostly watch the four of them playing doubles..
don feel like sweating too‭ much and not being able to go home and bathe that's why..haha..

so i sit on the stage(the community centre has a stage in the indoor badminton court) watching them play..
then cousin suddenly‭ mention that i'm sitting like a model there, to distracting his opponent..
lol..

forgot to post abt dear passing his driving test on sat!

he got 12points..

yea!
congrats dear..

for our 14months anniversary:

deardear bought me a new comestics pouch!!
plus..
a new nail-filer!
cos dear saw my recent one is getting used up..

don laugh ar, lao cousin..

haha..


nothing much to blog..

sat and sun are the most tiring days for me!
how dreadful it is to wake up in the morning and think of working for the whole day..
its really not easy to be a violin teacher.
got to hear screechy sounds created by students all the time..

and this is not the worst..

what i hate is that my students don make an effort to practise and came back with the same mistakes and give excuses that they are busy..
how busy can they be?
practice for just 15 min at least..
is that so difficult?

and what i hate even more is that students keep playing a few notes and then keep turning to look at me for assurrance that they are playing correctly..

just play on..for goodness sake..
if only they practised, they would have been sure..

i guess i'm getting more impatient...
haix..

p.s. go to my deardear's blog! there are updates about us!! =)

had a real busy day today! went to violin lesson in the morning..
still learning the china piece..
meet cousin and shichao later for badminton for only a short while..
cousin..not bad ar..quite pro liao..not like chao..keep 'kiang'..haha..

elijah msn me something weird recently..
asking me if was ignoring him cos he keep asking me for advices..
though he told me that it was not him that type that, but his friends, i couldn't help find that the msg is very typical of his style..
like calling me advisor and da jie..

anw..back to the topic..
i went home to get ready to teach at cristofori at 4pm to 4.30pm after badminton..
then rush to appreciate to teach from 5.15pm to 6.45pm..‭
and back to cristofori from ‭7.30pm to 8.30pm..
the lessons at cristofori are replacement lessons..
it's hard to arrange timings..so the timing's weird..

was wearing the new heels i bought ystd to work though..
so painful!
had blisters on my toes le..
i guessed i walked pretty funnily..
cos the cristofori receptionist was asking if i had sprained my ankle..
lol..

nv get to see u today..
miss u..

Cousin jy very lame..
finally admitted he is nauy..

should have not believe him when he says he isn't..

cousin u very good hor, act mysterious..

i really cannot stand talking to shichao..
he keep 'soliloquying'..
he can talk non-stop without ppl even uttering a single word or making any sound..
for straight 30 min..
talking to him, can put him on speaker and continue listening to him..

im not joking..

im not being bad.
cousin vin does this too..
right?

U noe wad, he's just bored..
he actually just wan to talk to himself..

Shichao has decided to sign on police force!!

Its a damn shocking news..

One thing i should add..
he's extremely easily influence by wad ppl says..
just because his parents keep saying abt the benefits, he decided to join..
i can say, he 100% object to it in the first place..

just like tat time he told me he definitely wont wan go SIM..

he change his mind not long after cos his parents tell him go enrol in SIM..
Haix..

Went to Causeway today with dear after work to buy mother's day gift and to shop around..
Dear looks pretty shagged,as he had just woken up from his nap..
Then i play with him, saying i shall act tired as well,
pretending to be half-awake and cold to all his responses..

Only den did he laugh at my comical actions and became more awake..
haha..

saw a nail filer at john little..
its exactly the one a sales promoter was promoting to me, showing me how shiny my nails will be after using it as she tried it on one of my fingernails..
its really shiny!!
like as if i had applied a coat of transparent polish..
she had told me that it was to be sold with a nail care set, for $50+..
i'm only interested in the filer..

and guess how much it is sold in john little?
only $2.50!!
wow!!
bought it of cos..
=)

go shopping for mothers' day pressie after that..
at metro..
saw a quite ok handbag..
but decided to look around for a more 'branded' one for mum..
i don go for branded myself..
but its a gift for my mum..i wan it more ex..

those branded ones are really nice..
but way too ex..
scared my mum bring out kena rob.. :P

shopped there for around an hour..
that was when dear saw a key pouch, renoma brand..
he bought it for his mum since her current was getting worn out..

i decided to buy the handbag i saw initially..

and then went to buy a small frying pan for my mum..
since she always cook small portions..

went mac to chill and tried the nail filer later..
its really good!
help dear filed his thumb nail too for fun..
he enjoyed it.. :)
he kept looking at it curiously and feel the smooth texture of the filed nail..
haha..
so cute de longlong..
i pretty much enjoyed playing with the filer too..

Happy Mothers' Day!!

Bought a small frying pan and a small handbag for mum!!
Dear bought a key pouch for his mum..

I guess both our mums love their gifts!!

Thanks mum for ur constant care and love!
I'll be more fillial to u, for now and always..

Love u mum!

Went starbucks with dear today!

Photos taken..

Its very seldom tat we took pics tat are so nice..

dear says he looks handsome and i look pretty!!

haha..:P

A thing i hate the most:

going to an event filled with acquaintances.
i hate the feeling that u simply had to smile at ppl u dono very well even though u don wan to but feel compelled to.
it feels awkward and uneasy.

i felt very isolated..
that's me.

so if one say i look bored or something, well, i probably do, maybe because i was thinkin:" when would this end?"
i dont feel like i belong here, even though there are familiar faces around..

it will be better if i had close friends attending it with me i'm sure.
but somehow or another i couldn't bring them along..

i hate it when ppl later ask why do i look so bored, why didn't i move more forward to watch the performances etc.
its not that i'm not interested.
its that i dont feel the sense of belonging, with such a big crowd there.

i think im a very difficult person.
i had strange emotions.
its very hard for anyone to understand me.
i understand this.
but when someone very close to me failed to understand me, i tend to get upset.
should have given more credit the person though,
after all,
sometimes i don even understand myself..

Went out the whole day with cousin jy and shichao ystd..
A whole day of sports, i must say..

Go to the yishun swimming complex there,
spent around 3 hrs there..
cousin wants to go to the middle pool,
while shichao wants the deep pool..

so i join cousin at the middle pool, leaving shichao at the deep pool..
he joined us a few min later though cos he too bored..

cousin had just started to learn how to swim..
so i keep pestering him ask him show me a few strokes..

but he kept laughing non-stop when he saw my face or heard my voice..
he thinks i keep disturbing him..
when he gets ready the swimming posture, i'll say: 'Go!'

Then he'll burst out laughing and takes abt 15 minutes to start swimming again.

In short, he nv really swim, just play with the water..
lol..

Oso, even when i nv disturb him, just stood in the pool beside him,
he'll oso burst out laughing, cos he saw my feet in the water..

And he too, had a new 'tan-line' at his forehead, a much much deeper one then shichao has..
cos he wore his swimming cap while 'swimming' in the hot sun..
haha..

luckily i dont wear swimming cap..

went eating chicken rice at the yishun blk 925 stall after..
yumm...

den went home to take badminton racket, as we meeting elijah to play badminton..
i finally noe how to 'kai qiu' properly le..without much failed attempts!
yea! :D

3 versus 1..
cousin, shichao and me against ellijah, the badminton expert..
we stood in a pyramind shape..
me and cousin in front,
while shichao at the back..

but shichao keep moving to the front,
so it looks like the 3 of us standing in a single row..

den later elijah took a rest,
the 3 of us continues..
me and cousin against shichao..

shichao whacked the shuttlecock so hard to me that it hit my forehead hard!!
sobs...
luckily no blue-black..

anw..elijah found a china phone on near the badminton court..
he went asking around but cannot find the owner..
there isn't even any SIM card in the phone..
or even any contacts in the phone for us to call..
lol..
think it should belong to a malay girl..
cos we look at the pics..
most of the pics consists of the girl..

then we went to northpoint KFC for dinner..
on the bus to northpoint..
saw hong han..(dear's friend)
he was looking at me strangely..
perhaps he's wondering why dear is not with me..
lol..
dear's having a headache..need rest at home..

eat and talk crap at KFC..

shichao was bahaving and looking like a kid..
he wore a temasek poly cap on his head..
looks so childish..
lol..

cousin call him child,
said it sort of rhymes with 'chao'..
the short form of his name..
haha..

till here~

Had sore eyes today!!

must have gotten it from my dad..

sad~


meet dear for dinner...

Went the coffee shop near SSC(sembawang shopping centre) to have dinner with dear!

Banana milkshake, stingray, and rojak..

the food is not bad, but there are a lot of hornets there,

falling off from the dusty fans, lights, and ceiling..

So creepy..*shudder

So throughout the meal, i felt as if there are insects on my body,

feeling itchy all over..

guess is my psychological feeling ba..

lol..

Anyway, went to sembawang park after that..

think my blood too sweet..

i always attract mosquitoes in parks..

dono why..

my both legs were full of bites..

its so itchy that i had to go to the toilet and practically splash water on my legs to ease the itch..

nevertheless..had a good day today :)

Im getting better le!!

Haha..actually today im kind of tired and want to cancel my lessons at both music sch de..
but scared that i'll go bonkers over the replacement lessons..

So no choice, went to work..

anw i went tanning with dear not long ago..
so now tanner le!!
(dono is tanner or skin redder)

Felt a bit sunburnt..
:(


deardear going to perform wushu on vesak day near khatib mac!!
everyone feel free to come support!!
(haha..dear will probably kill me as he say he don want so many ppl watching him)
lol..
but what's there to be shy abt?
u're good in wushu dear, so show everyone your talent!! :D

anw dear hurt himself today at wushu training with his equipment..
must becareful o..
apply medicine..
i'll help u buy medicine since u don have..
take care!!

Went out with dear ystd..

Talk abt alot of things..

Our views..

Dear..
I meant all of them..
I noe u do too..
im still thinking abt the things we had both said..
so much so that i even dreamt abt them at nite..
and even woke up in the middle of the nite,
wondering if the senario i dreamt was real..

till now im still thinking..
thought we cant bear to..
but maybe this is the best? For us all?

i really dono..

i just want u to noe,
that i have no regrets in everything
that we've shared..

you will forever be my sweetest memory~


o ya..
i've got to add..
im sick today..
that's y i can blog now..
dear is slpin at home now..
im slpin soon too..

Realised that i had mistaken my cousin as Nauy..
if not my cousin den hu?

Haix..
looks like someone im quite close with from the messages..
and he/she noes my cousin too, so he/she must be my secondary sch mate,
since cousin and i used to be in the same class.

just tell me who u are.... :(