A thing i hate the most:

going to an event filled with acquaintances.
i hate the feeling that u simply had to smile at ppl u dono very well even though u don wan to but feel compelled to.
it feels awkward and uneasy.

i felt very isolated..
that's me.

so if one say i look bored or something, well, i probably do, maybe because i was thinkin:" when would this end?"
i dont feel like i belong here, even though there are familiar faces around..

it will be better if i had close friends attending it with me i'm sure.
but somehow or another i couldn't bring them along..

i hate it when ppl later ask why do i look so bored, why didn't i move more forward to watch the performances etc.
its not that i'm not interested.
its that i dont feel the sense of belonging, with such a big crowd there.

i think im a very difficult person.
i had strange emotions.
its very hard for anyone to understand me.
i understand this.
but when someone very close to me failed to understand me, i tend to get upset.
should have given more credit the person though,
after all,
sometimes i don even understand myself..