Written on 14 June 2017 😍

Soulmate

A warm soft glow suffuses the dark skies

As beams of light streak across the heavens

Potential promise with a new sunrise

Sparks a new hope across all continents 

Millions with an unpublished agenda 

The discovery they're slowly learning

To spend life journey'ng to find the other

To slake desire and fulfill yearning

How blessed am I an ordinary one

To have found her - my heart's sole desire

And be her desired partner - her one

The chapter ends on the search for fire

Love's nature is such strange dichotomy 

Seems fragile as glass yet strong as cold steel

But who dares put to test this symmetry 

For fear to lose that which is so so real.

Mere attraction became strong affection

And we have been just so good together

Beyond just physical and emotion

Bonding deeper beyond with each other

Where there was only one we soon became two

Struggling with identity and our fate

As we walk closer i give thanks for you

My darling love, wife-to-be, my soulmate❤

Thanks so much darling for the beautifully crafted out poem..

Darling Mine😍😍😚😚

Dear blog,

I think I am falling for him.

I do not know why do my tears fall, seeing his sweet videos..
of his love declarations to me.

I longed to hug him.. to hold him close..
to kiss him.

I yearn for him to be mine..
but he will never be.

I do not know why am I so foolish..

He should never be mine and will never be.
I should stop kidding myself.

my heart just melts when I see how tenderly he looks at me.
I thought I do not feel anything for him.
Until he told me he had to take care of her.

And I start to realised how much I minded.
I should not have taken something that wasn't mine to begin with.

you are the only one who treats me like a princess..

who loves me like no one else ever did..

who shower me with soo much care and attention..

who pays attention to every single detail about me..

i had never wanted to kiss and hug someone so much.

i had never felt something like this before.

it feels so right.

i love you, baby.

Night fades and a new day appears,
but memory of thy sweet kisses linger.
On lips on cheeks on all areas,
your warmth and fragrance is all too singular.

I miss you in so many ways,
where emotions becomes ache becomes longing.
Your eyes hold me puts me in daze,
and I just long to hear you call me darling.

If I could I'd be there with thine,
to watch the flutter of thy eyes as you wake.
To steal first kiss from lips divine,
Your thirst for me i will desire to slake.



such a beautifully written poem..💖💖💖

Dear blog,

It has been 2 years.

I am 27 years now.

With a different guy.

We just celebrated our 3 yrs together.

Things r going well, we have applied a flat together.

But sometimes, I cant help to think that I am an option.

He will only text and remember me when he is free.

When he is not with his friends. 

When he is not meeting his god sis.

When he has nothing interesting to do.

I am the last thing on his mind.


I tried to make him happy.

I really did.

But sometimes I wonder am I trying too hard?

Is he aware of my feelings?

Even after telling him abt it many times.


Will our marriage fall apart next time?

I dono.

And I am afraid sometimes.

And tired of thinking and trying so hard.


Its my 3rd serious relationship already.

dear blog,

i am feeling so down, i dono y.
perhaps is because he is going overseas.
i do not know y do i feel so empty suddenly.

or perhaps is just me after reading an emo book.
or perhaps i dono wad to do in life.

its just so vexing.

I feel so confused. I really do not know what I am feeling or thinking.

I am sure that by now no one really reads my blog, so it is safer for me to write what i want.

the original purpose of me setting up this blog is to write freely on how i feel about issues. 
However, i find that i wasnt able to convey how i feel these few years on my feelings, especially on relationship issues, as it wasnt really fair for the whole world to be reading on the one sided opinion on my relationship issues.

Thus this blog became more and more un-updated.

I just dont feel happy recently, no matter what is being done.

Things are okay when I don think about them.
But when I do, I really doubt how things can carry on.

There are so many things, so many issues that I have not disclosed to u, things like how I feel internally.

There are really serious trust issues between us, which caused my trust in u deeply shaken.

There are so many atrocious things that I thought about, things that are so wrong about what u may be doing.

I cant helped it, i really cant control my mind to trust u.

i really cant think that u are true, no matter what is said and done.

Talking on the phone is fine, but once we met up, i cant help it but to show a grim and unsmiling face.

I cant bring myself to put up a front.

Things are better when u dont question them, cos when u dont, i can continue on doing this.

But when u do, I start questioning myself too, and deep inside, u and i both knew the answers.

I dont see how we can go back to the past.

I dont know if I am too hurt to care already, too numbed by relationships already.
Or maybe I had changed.
Or maybe is what has been done that caused all these changes.

Things are too hard for me, way too hard.

I cant smile, i cant act like nothing is wrong.


Even if u still feel that u can turn things right, u can change, u can do anything to accomodate me, i still dont see how it works out.
i really dont.

I just cant bring myself to look right into u, to tell myself that everythings right.
I cant bring myself to trust u when u are at sch, when u are with ur friends, when u are using ur phone and internet.

Its no longer jealously, its what we called, 'xin hui yi leng'.

Its some sort that I dont care what u may be doing behind my back anymore, 
some sort that I wont be caught surprise by all these acts if i happened to see them;
that they will just confirm my suspicion.
It just left me a feeling of chilliness, that u may be doing something behind my back again.

We didnt patched because i put it all over us.

Until now, I cant forget everything.

all the feelings that we once shared had ceased.

we both felt a sense of unfamiliarity clouding over us, like we are strangers.
'so near, yet so far'.
we do not know how to communicate to each other.

we have no idea what to say to each other to prevent awkward silences.

we have to try so hard to get back to the past feelings, which is futile.

perhaps it really is time for u to let us go.

we are both really tired.

maybe u just have to learn from this relationship, and not to repeat the same mistakes u make on this for the next.

Because we are really beyond repair.