I almost cried.
In sch..

Yes, the edgefield primary im teaching music theory in..
I could hear voices whispering"teacher's going to cry".

The kids are just too much. I've spent so much effort trying to plan good lessons for them, printing self-written notes out of my own expenses every week, and all they could repay me was by making a hell lot of noises in class when I was trying so hard to get myself heard.

Im having both unstoppable coughing and heavy runny nose and here i am, still in sch to teach them.
tried my very best to project the loudest volume i could make, making my throat the more worse than it is, for fearing the kids would waste yet another lesson with me, learning nothing.

The schedule is already very tight. Exams coming. And yet i think they wouldn't even be able to answer any questions.

In desperation, I yelled.
"IM SICK! AND IM STILL HERE TEACHING YOU ALL!! CAN YOUR JUST BE SILENT?!"

and then tears started to well up in my eyes.
Im just so so disappointed with the class..

Thought of storming out of the class and leave them to do waht they wanted( didn't most teachers do this?)

But no, I can't do this. I just can't allow them to continue wasting their time. It's so precious and the schedule is sooo tight.

I just swallowed my tears(no, the tears have not find their way down my cheeks yet), and continued teaching, like nothing had happened.

On sunday, I had a student who is considering to learn the violin. Thus she wants a trail lesson to try it out.
Her dad is a very authorative person(I can tell from the moment he speaks to me).

He walks over to me: Miss Lim, my daughter has a piano grade 3 and currently, she is very interested in both the violin and the guitar. She would like to know more abt the violin.
Me: Okay..
Her dad: So could you explain to her the aims of the violin?
Me: Aims?!
Her dad: ya, u know, the rules..
Me: Hmm..actually its the same as the piano, the notes are all the same,the rhythms are the same too..it's just that the way of playing is different..(o gosh what am i supposed to say? I wasn't even certain abt what he's asking luh..)
Er..sir hang on for a moment, I'll go outside to the counter and take a suitable book for your daughter..(rushing outside)
However, I realised the suitable book for beginners is out of stock! So I told the receptionist that I can't possibly teach without the book and she walks over to him, told him the problem and suggests that he come next week for the trail lesson instead.

But to my horror, he insisted on the trail lesson, saying that I could just tell his daughter the rules!!
Sigh..
Me: Hmm..in that case, I think I'll teach her how to hold the violin first then.(lending my own violin to her,since she doesn't own one yet)
Her dad: ok.

After teaching her that, I go on to explain to her that the vioin has 4 strings, and teach her her to play using the bow, as well as how to press on the strings to produce other notes. She apparently has a fun time, laughing her way through..(Note: her parents and her brother were all inside the room when I was teaching her, and I was very much relieved to see them laughing together with her too)

When the lesson ended..
Her dad: thanks Miss Lim, now that she has gotten a rough idea on how the violin is to be played, could u play her a piece? A short one?
Me:(stunned) okay, i'll play 'Long long ago' then..(this is the 1st short piece that came to my mind)

After the piece is played..*claps..

And they registered their daughter for violin lessons after that..

I really meet all kinds of parents in teaching..

Go watch concert with deardear today..it's good!

Supposed to go slack at the seaside there, but was having a stomachache, and feeling a bit nauseous after dining at NewYorkNewYork(creamy sphagetti)..

So had to go home after that..

Now deardear is at my place, looking at me blog..^^

Here is the sentosa post!! Hahahaxx... should have post this long ago..but blogger has problem with posting of pics..

Enjoy the pics ppl!! ^^
(Shall let the pics do the talking)





(hair-do tied by deardear)

( at the 4D magix! this is the 'specs' to be worn!)

(my hands and feet are buried!)

Sorry long time no blog ppl..
wanna know why?
1) I normally do not blog on weekends, cos i came home late from work, feeling exhausted.
2) My dad has adopted a new hobby lately, watching old chinese war films on the net, so im left
with no com to use.(he watched till its time to slp!)

Sooo..to make up for the lack of posts, I shall post more today!!

Hmm..recently im quite mad with my violin students taking exams this coming july/aug. They never bothered to memorise what I told them to. There is one particular student who never memorise the scales(a requirement for the exam) and thus I spent a few lessons endlessly teaching her the easy ways to memorise it, instead of placing emphasis on her exam pieces, which is also going to be tested.

Then just last sunday when she had her class with me, I realised that she still doesn't bother to memorise her scales. She said she forgot(again!)
I tried to suppress my anger..(I just can't bear myself to scold students)

Then I asked her to play her exm pieces..O goodness..from the constant pausing and repeating parts in her music, as well as the lack of the graduation of tone and dynamics, I could tell she had not been practicing at all.

Me: What have u been doing? U never practice your pieces?!
Student: I only practice my scales.
Me: What?! I thought I told u to practice your pieces? I can't possibly have the time to go through so many things with u, the scales and the pieces.
Student: (silent)

Haix..I've spent so much time analysing the pieces with her, and now it seeems to be futile..

told her dad that she is not ready for the exam initially, but her dad insisted her to take it, saying that since she took grade 1 in pri 1, he wants her to take grade 2 in pri 2 too..

And being unable to say 'no' to her dad, all I could say was:" I'll try my best to push her then."

So it looks like i'm really going to have to try..

Yawns..need to wake up at 5.30am tmr..
So early!!

Tat's cos i need teach at yumin primary at tampines at 8.00am tmr. And i have to reach 15 mins earlier to on all the students' computer..
And the bus journey takes 1 hr..

Im seriously lacked of sleep..cos I woke up at 6am today!!
(Lessons starts at 8.30am)..

Hey Yuesing, I've become one of the members in the panda family too le!!

Deardear sweet sweet..he came to my house esp at night to pass me a bottle of herbal tea which he had brewed himself for an hour plus! He even had projects to rush..

Whatsmore he came even though it was raining..

Thanks deardear..^^

Thanks for the previous herbal teas u brewed for me these few days too..

Blogskin changed!!

Im sick and tireed of that old one..

hehe~~~^^

Glad to clear off whatever misunderstandings i have..

And thanks deardear for the trust u have in me..don entertain anymore unnecessary thoughts o! Must remember to slp early early~~
Be happy always..^^

The same goes out to all friends who have been keeping late nights--try to finish ur tasks asap and go rest rest k? Ur are not wonderman and wonderwoman who can go for hours without slp..

Jiayou jiayou!!

back to teaching tomorrow..
but now my sore throat is worse..
Too much talking lately! ^^

Nvm..i'll regain my voice in no time..
ppl..just bear with me sounding like a guy in the mean time!

hahas..hope i don scare off the children tmr.. :)

My violin student is so sweet!! she actually said in her sms that she is sad that i'll be leaving in aug for NIE. (the receptionist told her)

this news was of course an outdated one, but i had forgotten to update her..

And for further information, this student of mine is an adult!! From the chong pang cristofori music sch..

she was thrilled when i told her i won't be leaving, at least not till next year july..
she was thinking of quiting when she know i was going to leave..

Im so flattered..
love my students <33

Just found out that my manager from Town4kids(that's the company i worked in, teaching primary sch children music as an instructor) has qiuted her job!!

So shocking can..i'll missed her lots..

Hmm..wondering why she quit..her last day of work shall be this friday..

Wish her all the best in her future endeavours!

i REALLY don wanna care abt so many things now..now that i have deardear already..
I've enough to worry abt~like my job( teaching the theory class, having to plan notes and ws for them and mark their work, and oso worry abt my violin students who are taking exams this year)..

So i'll just be living my life to the fullest, to be a great teacher and spend the other times i have with my deardear and my close friends..

If i had other problems--which i don think i had much, i'll just let it be, cos things are somethimes better to be left alone..time will reveal all the ans..

like what deardear say, now feeling very xing fu with him is all that matters..
I agree too..so I shall leave other obstaclces i faced out of all these..

Deardear, sorry for the sleepless nights i had left u with..
know i've been a BADWOMAN..

Haiyo..hearing people from my block shouting away!!
This is just like the WW3 senario in my house a few days ago..wanna know what has happened?

My dad fight and shout with my sis cos she came home late and won't be practicing the piano..and it has been quite a few days that she din't practice..

so amongst all those struggle(and endless shouting~in the night)..my sis hurt my pinkie..and now it seems like she won't be able to play piano for awhile--she has cracked her bone..not a serious one though..

and i don think she will recover in time to take her piano exam as the doctor says she had to rest that pinkie of hers for 6 weeks..The exam is in august..

so it looks like she will have to take it next year in march..

Feeling slightly better today le..
But my sore throat still remains..wondering if i could get a microphone for teaching at the primary schools from my manager..XD

Sick today..having fever..:(

throbbing headache..

hot & cold all over..

haf to cancel my lesson at appreciate music sch..Aaargh..endless make-up lessons!!

9 students lea..about 5 hours..
how to find time to make-up?

Ooo...so touched...Deardear actually gave me a letter for our 4th month anniversary!! So sweet..
Sorry Deardear..i never give u anything.. :(

And Deardear's handwritten chinese character is so beautiful..haha..(Deardear wrote in both chinese and english)

And haha..i actually asked deardear to read me what he wrote when he gave me the letter in Mac just now..

Deardear ur really so sweet!! Tks for everthing u had done for me..
i.love.u. <33

Finally my violin skills all back to normal!!

For the past few days..my papa's face was as black(or even blacker) den Justice Bao..

But papa i can't control how i sounded on the violin!! My mood is damn bad these few days larx...tot i lose everything.. Job & sch..

Papa said i sounded like a terrible player..all out of tune and very rough..

But anw papa oso found out another cause of it(other den my mood..)

Tat is..he noticed im wearing ring on my finger!! So he told me to take it out and claimed that it'll confirm sounded better if i don wear it while playing..

Took his advice..and surprisingly it sounded just as good as it should have all the while been!!

Lolx..trust Papa to notice this kind of small details..

A message to all gals out there!!
If you ever love a guy, pls don allow urself to please him all the while..pls don make urself seen like a fool, waiting upon him, enduring whatever wrongs he did to u and just shrugged those hurtful things he did to u aside..don try to become another person, a person whom u think he'll prefer and lose ur ownself, ur character..

This is what i have understood in time..Deardear was the one who made me force myself to think of what have i been doing(as in relationship wise)in the past one year..

I've actually loved a guy who is so unworthy of me in loving..He's extremely ungentlemanly..doesn't say thank you, doesn't say sorry, doesn't send a gal home even after the gal goes all the way out alone to watch his concert in the dark late night..contacts me only when he needs someone to go to his piano concert..always late and never sorry..and the list goes on..

I've been playing a duet with him every thurs in a music sch, him on his piano and me on my violin..we played just for fun.. he has student at 6 pm onwards and we thus meet at 4.45pm to practice..

Today i was carrying my heavy violin to Siling pri followed by Edgefield pri so that i won't be late for our practices..
Yet when i was on my way to Edgefield pri..i received his msg..

"Hey shuning i cannot make it today. In fact, i pratice with my duet partner on thursdays
at his place at woodlands for the performance at Esplanade on 28 and 29 this month, so i
think i need to focus on that for a while. That ok? Also... You think you can come watch? Haha."

Haha my foot..just from this msg i noe that he's not going to practice with me anymore and he sounds like im wasting his precious time.. somemore he still ask me to go watch his performance!! Freako!!

I've actually stopped loving this guy. My weekly practices with him is just some sort of a routine..and Deardear make me realised that i should have break this routine..So im never ever going to go to the music sch on thurs to accompany with anymore!! Not even if he go on his knees on begs me( like what i've told Deardear) hahs..as if he would..

Second day at siling: Great!!

No, its isn't cos of the students, but cos CRISTOFORI HQ called me!! During my lesson!! The person in charge actually allowed me to work for ONE more year..that is..till the end of July next year..

HOw extremely wonderful that is!! I HAVE MY JOB BACK!! HURRAY!!

And this had brightened up my whole entire day..

Even the bad news that my colleague gave me, telling me that she can't handle Edgefield Primary( which was originally my music theory job and she became my replacement when i told my manager im going to NIE..) and after hearing that i graciously told her that im not going to the NIE anymore and i could take back my job..even though i really DON'T WANT TO!!

Edgefield is really a chore..im teaching music theory on the whiteboard!! to pri 2 & 3 kids..that's so dull..why don't the sch choose a more interesting way to let pupils learn? i.e. through the computer music games like Siling Pri?

Whatsmore..all these pupils are registered to take exams in the end of year..ABRSM(Assiociated Board of the Royal School of Music,London) Grade 1 exams..

And they are so seriously unprepared..we are always behind of schedule..

And the sch is in punggol..

And the teacher in charge wants the at least half the class of pupils to obtain distinction..
What crap..i'll be most happy if the class could manage a pass..

See why Edgefield is such a pain now?
Hmm..Nvm..i'll just take over it.. cos im the one who agreed to taeching at this sch in the first place and so i should have to responsibility to finish it..
And my colleague, poor she, is old..50+?

She can't possibly manage a class of 37 students..

Yes..a full class of 37 students..tat's another prob..

I guess i better find a way to conquer all these prob..now that i have so much of free time, without NIE..

Today i went to teach in Siling Pri as an assistant music teacher..(For a music programme that teaches music theory in com lab and den allowing students to play the related musical games using the com).

I LOVE Siling so very very much!!
i taught there before a few months ago before the programme ends.. now the sch is organising the same prog for different students..

It felt so familiar and homey back there..yet i'll only be teaching there for today and tmr as im just relieving for the assistant teacher who is absent..Sobs.. :'(

Teaching kids..
You can see the eager faces, waiting to absorb more information, waiting to learn more..they look so angelic and innocent..

Though the kids for today's class hardly noe me, they are so sweet!!
One gal actually came up to me and say:"Teacher, you very pretty lea!"
And much to my surprise,one of her group of friends beside her added:" Ya lor,teacher, you very pretty lea!"

Lolx..guess they hardly see younger teachers that's why.. :p

Hope to get more chances to work in the school!!

Nothing could describe my feelings now..it is a feeling of utmost dissappointment..despair..
okok..even though i am fully prepared to not being able to be admitted into NIE this year..i am still upset..

It's like I will be wasting 1 more year..

And I have already resigned from the music school Im teaching as i tot i will be going to NIE then..

And now..when i called the person in charge just now and ask whether i could still continue working..she went completely mute..(well..not completely..but just continuous 'hmm..hmm..') cos she has already found a teacher to replace me.

Anw she say she will contact me again to tell me an ans..

Looks like i'll be losing my job and my chance of further studies this year.

Im pretty much good at comforting others, counselling others. But when it comes to my own, i just can't do it.

So don blame me for sounding 'off'..ppl..and im not tired if i sound like i do..but just NO MOOD!!

So just don try to console me..it will get worst..im perfectly fine with consoling myself..just give me some time..

just trim my hair recently! (about 1 or 2 weeks ago?) previously it's like so long..till my waist there reaching my bottoms..and now it is 2 inches shorter..

i hate to trim my hair..if i could i will rather don bother myself abt that at all..so as u could guess my last trimming was actually last year Nov..that was the time i did my rebonding..

im not good at looking after my hair..i don place my hair carefully to one side when i sleep everyday, unlike my sis..so my rebonded hair doesn't look like rebonded at all..looks like normal..

and i remembered the day after i cut my hair i meet Qianru to pass her something..and she said:" OMG!! U go perm your hair?!"
Hahahax..so exaggerating can?? It only looks a bit curler than usual cos the night before i sleep with my hair all messed up..

well..and anw my hair doesn't fall out that much anymore.. before that it is like..WOW..SO MUCH that im going BALD!! and cos of that i don even dare to comb my hair then..cos scared that it will drop more..
But mum says that will be worst cos like that my scalp will not have any 'exercise' and my scalp will be dead and then more hair will fall out..

Was so scared when i heard that!! But anw hahahas dono how my hair prob get better de..that's good!!

Definition of Pessimism: from the Latin pessimus (worst), is the decision to evaluate, perceive and view life in a generally negative light.

Pessimist: someone who practices that.

I don't deny that im a pessimist. But what's so bad abt that? In fact being pessimistic helps you think abt the worst senario that is going to happen and this makes you mentally prepared for the worst all the time. It ensures that you will stay calm even in the most desperate situations, enable you to get a grip on yourself.

I have been telling myself that i will 100% fail the oral part of the EPT ever since i stepped out of the examination hall. And my mum was like so sick and tired of me saying that all the while.

Just received the result via post: As expected, I failed the oral. Though disappointed, i wasn't crushed. And do you noe the consequences of not clearing the EPT, both the oral and written?
(Yep i passed the written)

Well i nid to pass both to be admitted into NIE. And right now it seems like i might have to wait till next year to be admitted.

Cos i have to clear both and though i can go for re-test for the oral section only, the sch sem starts this 23 jul and the next test is in 4 aug!!

I am planning to go to NAFA for the music teaching course if that's the case. And then i'll go into NIE to get a degree after that.

Alternatively, i'll just continue working for another year so i'll be tons richer. (See i got it all map out right after the oral test)

So who says pessimism isn't a good thing?

Macdonalds, I seriously do not noe how this fastfood restaurant managed to be so successful. They are getting less and less hygienic and seriously, I don't think that their food is that great at all. I believed that most people think like me.

Lunchtime. 40 mins. A lunch-break in which after that i will have to go back to teaching. Ordered fillet plain. While waiting for the order to get ready ( you noe how long the staff gets your orders ready, esp when i am ordering plain) i walked over to the chilli dispenser to get chili and then collect the my order.

den after chewing for one big mouth, I saw the tarter sauce and the cheese in the fillet. How INEFFICIENT can the management get? And I was 100% sure they noe i ordered the plain one. Cos they have the policy of printing out the receipt of the order. And it clearly stated plain fillet.

Nvm. Being a very good customer, I din't go and ask for a change.(P.S. Plus i don't think i hace the time to wait for a new one) Den just when i was abt to dipped the fillet into the chilli sauce. I saw a dead fly. In the chilli. What's more.. there are oso a few unidentified black specks in the chilli.

OMG!! That's so gross!! Don you think that for such a big fast food chain like Mac should have inspect their chilli? or mayb the flies had just find their way to the chilli dispenser and decided to be buried there. In any case, Mac should have tot of all these and think of a prevention from all these right?

Anyone out there who noes the complain hotlilne of Mac?

And ppl pls inspect the sauces next time before consuming..

I am currently eating my breakfast while blogging at the same time..

Wanna noe wad my breakfast is?

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A Heart-shape bread bought from the bakery shop nearby!!

Lol..

I must have been too bored too blog abt my breakfast...

Hehehehez.......